First of all, my boss was terrible. I was overworked, underpaid, and most importantly, I wasn’t satisfied that all my hard work resulted in one ginormous goose-egg in the bank.
For those who don’t already know, you guessed right. For the past year or so, I’ve been working for myself in my own company. (yeah, the pictures don’t show up.) I’ve managed to squander a good sum of my dad’s hard earned money, not to mention some of my own. I’ve made a mess of both my personal and professional life and learned a great deal about humility.
This is, however not a letter of surrender.
photo by Mykl Roventine
So, it’s funny that my last post was about being productive. With that said, I’ve been putting off writing this post about my new adventure into a new career for quite a few weeks now. Mostly I was still coming to terms with this reality not really sure I was going through with it, but also, I want to figure out how exactly to explain the reasons behind such a drastic change.
Those of you who’ve been following my other blog in Chinese might know that I’ve been in quite a melodramatic mood as of late. This is partly to do with the state of my current relationship, which is tumultuous to say the least. But it’s also because of the uncertain state of my work situation as I’ve mentioned. Panhandling at the entire world seemed like a good idea at the time when I had no real prospects of making money.
Things have changed.
It’s not that I’m unproductive, but in the past, I’ve found myself with a lot of idle time. When you get things done, you’re left with a sense of emptiness. Like in Memento, once you’re gotten your revenge, what else is there to strive for?
Sometimes, this can drive you mad. You find every excuse possible to delay completing the tasks at hand; you wait for the last possible moment to minimize that loss; you act busy rather than getting busy.
When procrastination rears its ugly head, it’s just like looking into a mirror, because ultimately, there’s only yourself to blame.